Monday, October 18, 2010

VITILIGO

Little is known about this autoimmune disease that affects 1% of the population. Many know it as the "Michael Jackson disease" and as the butt of many MJ jokes. Hey, I don't know if he had it or not, but I'm not laughing. Up until a few weeks ago, I never really thought about it. Two months at a frenetic pace, I am only now beginning to feel settled. I should have known though, that this stroll down life's path would immediately be interrupted yet again by drama around the corner. SMACK into a wall, once again, I'm on my can, dazed and trying to focus. All I can think of is, what in the world? What do you mean? Why my 6 year old son? Why his face? Is it something I did? Something I didn't do? Was it because of the gestational diabetes? Questions and more questions to which the only response is, we don't know. As I watched my baby boy so bravely hold out his arm to have blood drawn, he tearfully asks, "Mommy, am I gonna have to live with these spots?". What do you say to that? Do I shake an angry fist at God? Though tempting, I know better. I'll fix it, I do research, I'll change our diet. What about bargaining? I'll shave my head, I'll fast for a week, no a month, whatever You want. Hey, even better why don't You just give it to me...the silence is deafening. Surely I can "lean on His promises", right. He's our healer and all that. He knows the future, the past. He's God, He can just say the word and my boy will be healed. But then, why put him through the drama in the first place. All of these questions are foolish, anyway. Instead of being angry and bitter, I think I'm going to put my energy into being a great mommy and leave the rest to God. Trying to be God is very exhausting!

3 comments:

Melissa said...

You rock Mama! Love the blog and love the blogger! Praying for you and the family!

Sheila said...

Just know that he is healthy and all will be ok.

Maryellen said...